an eternal job

I am absolutely amazed at how fast this summer has gone so far, how much has been accomplished, and how much I've changed.

12 weeks ago I was sitting in my Dad's office, crying and wondering how on earth I would make it. My security and feeling of safety rested in having a good job that paid for all the things I needed and wanted, and in less than an hour all that was taken away from me. I had never felt so unsure and overwhelmed, simply because now there were options. Some of them were good, some of them great, and others just crazy.

Since then, Jehovah Jireh has done his thing. Not only have I been granted the finances I need to survive, but more than I have had in a long time. My biggest curiosity was how I would spend my time if I didn't find a job soon. It didn't take long to come up with that answer!

I've spent more hours doing ministry at church than I ever thought possible. Things I've wanted to do for years I now had the time to do, and I've loved every minute of it. God has opened the doors for me to serve in areas that I'm good at, love to do, and that have been needed. And, with all the extra time I suddenly had, it seemed like God was giving me an eternal job to replace the earthly job I thought I needed.

With high school and middle school camps done and under my belt for this year, I'm excited to say that in three weeks from today I will be on another plane heading over to Holland. I still don't know how it happened, why it's happening, and if it will even end up being the right thing to do, but I'm honestly in a place where I don't care. I mean, I do care, but I'm not concerned and worried about right and wrong when it comes to ministry. I know that wherever I am, if my heart is right and ready to serve my Savior no matter what, HIS glory will shine and the how's and why's won't be an issue. It's a truly liberating and fantastic feeling- one I hope and pray everyone of you can experience someday if you haven't already. Sure I'm tired and exhausted- both camps I had max 4 hours of sleep a night, sang myself hoarse at least once, got discouraged at the poor decisions of our youth, put in countless hours working on games, small group discussions, and doing laundry when I got home, but honestly, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. This is the stuff that counts, that matters. I know that at some point I'll have to get serious about finding a job, but until then, bring on the tired days and exhaustion that comes with doing kingdom work.

I recall writing in one of my last Amsterdam posts that I consider myself a missionary now. I'm just extending that in my own church, with the kids in our youth ministries, acting out the gifts the Lord gave me to further his kingdom and disciple the future leaders in the church. Next up, the youth in Holland and the people on the streets in Paris.

Lord grant me the wisdom to know your will, to see your plan and not mine, and act with grace and compassion as your servant.

That's my job and my privelege.