Since you asked...

If you didn’t already know, Valentine’s Day is coming. It started literally the day after Christmas.

I went to buy some candy for my office, and next to the Christmas candy that was on sale was a brand new stock of Valentine’s candy. Since then, I’ve had to stock our candy dish with cute little heart shaped candies in pinks and reds and whites, and I have to say, I’m ready for the next holiday.

But while I’m waiting for the celebration of the Irish and good luck charms, I’m occasionally eating the Dove chocolates purchased for the candy dish, the ones swirled with a strawberry flavor. If you’ve had a Dove candies before, you probably noticed that they often have printed sayings on the inside, usually something inspirational and chocolate related. For Valentine’s, the Dove candies are heart shaped, and most of the sayings on the wrapper reflect that. Phrases like ‘Exercise your heart today’ or ‘Give someone a heart hug today.’ Two in particular caught my attention, and are the basis for my thought dialogue today.

“Express your heart”
Dove wants me to express my heart today. Or any day I guess. Expressing my heart has never been a gift of mine. Expressing my thoughts is only easy on paper or typed out, never with audible words. Just a guess, but I think that when God made me, He said ‘let her write things down.’ So when you take someone who isn’t that great at verbal communication and ask her to express her heart, which is the emotional equivalence of our complicated brains, it’s a daunting task. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some unfeeling robot that tries desperately to be human, I've just found that my head tends to be the one that makes the most sense, and always seems a little safer. I guess I'm getting a little more dangerous in my old age.

But ok Dove, since you asked (and apparently, Facebook is getting in on this too, always asking how I’m feeling today), here’s me expressing my heart:

It’s my 30th year of life, and I plan on making it a great one. There’s questions I have, experiences I’ve never gone through, places I’ve never been to, people I’ve never met and growth that absolutely has to come as I grow older. My heart is thankful for my family that supports me, friends God has brought into my life and the ministry He has called me into, that also happens to be my daily job. So while I’ll never claim that life is perfect or that I don’t have challenges, my heart just needs to have a check up with my head to remind myself that this is an intentional year of greatness. My heart feels both a sense of anticipation and calm, which would normally drive me crazy, but at this time feels pretty good.

“Find out how much your heart can hold”
This is an interesting one. Everyone knows that when you open your heart up, you instantly open it up to the possibility of discouragement, hurt and destruction. But, you also open it up to new experiences, exciting emotions and the ability to grow in a way you never thought possible.

As I’m opening myself up to new experiences, I think I’ll start finding out that not only does my heart open more, but it can hold more than I think. I don’t think it’s something I can find out in one day, but over time, and measured by each new experience or each return to a special moment that filled my heart at its current capacity. It's constantly fluctuating, and I'm kind of ok with that.

So thanks, Dove, for wrapping delicious sugar with words that made me think a little different today.