It Takes Two

After a small drive with a friend, listening to their less than favorable day, I started to think about a concept that struck a chord in me. They talked about some internal thoughts regarding parents, and what they said hit home, and hit hard. Not because I was currently dealing with the same issue, but I could completely understand what they were saying and the inner emotions that drew from the experience. It was a familiar conversation that we hadn’t had before, but felt like I had had a dozen other times somehow. A few days later, this idea was still lingering in my mind, and today it came pouring out. I’m not sure this captures 100% of where my thoughts were at, but it’s a rough draft anyway. ..

Parenthood. Two people making a decision that creates another human life. In our society today, those two people may not raise that life together. One, neither, one and a different other, or in some cases a few different people. That small body is then asked to handle all that life throws at them. It starts with learning to use parts of that body; whimpers and cries emerge, first steps are taken, words begin to form, and soon enough this little person is able to communicate. With communication now open and available, the mind, body, soul and spirit begin to delve into relationships, pursuits, physical endeavors and emotions. The parent or guardian of this life has (and has always had) the opportunity to bring about positive reinforcement of behavior, show love and affection in the right proportions, guide and discipline, teach practical life lessons and values, and raise them in a way that helps them become an asset to society. Many parents disregard this option, pick and choose the convenient paths, or struggle enough in their own lives and are simply unable to effectively parent. Regardless, this small person becomes a toddler, child, teenager and finally adult, responsible for their own decisions and ultimately able to make the same choice as the two people who brought them into this world. It's a cycle- one with twists and turns that give us something to talk about in social circles, psychology classes, TV shows and music.

But the real beauty lies in a momentous switch, a shift of perspective for this created life. Once too young to understand counting, this person eventually understands complexities and intricacies that make the world go round. At one point only able to translate emotions and words into tears, they are now immersed in diverse circles of friends, familial relationships, surface social networks and hoping to find a person who fits them just right. But what happens to this life when they become old enough to understand the realities of cruelty? When the ones who have loved them since birth find hardship? Suddenly, this person has a massive shift that brings a whole new understanding. They realize that their parents, parent, guardian, loved one are not immune to frustration, hard times, disappointment, sadness and fear. There is real concern for their well being, an almost protective nature that takes over and can cause as much worry in the grown child as their parent. This shift can cause panic, a need to fix and correct, a desire to overcompensate or even bring on denial. When this shift happens, the realization can be life changing, as the switch in perspective also has the potential for unlocking a whole new side of love and appreciation. As children, adoration and thankfulness tend to reside in superficial and material situations, such as presents. But when the switch happens, unconditional love suddenly has a deep, rooted meaning. The phrase "thank you" does not seem to be enough, and the words "I love you" are almost trifle. It becomes a beautiful turn of events where the individual, possibly grown and with responsibilities of their own, is able to look at their parent, parents, guardian or loved one with a respect and affection beyond words. They feel the hurt, pain and terror with them, celebrate, cry and laugh in a completely new and uncharted light. The child the parent helped create now finds necessity in helping continue their parents well being, and will go to great lengths to do so, whether that parent is thirty-four, fifty-five, or sixty-eight. It's all a continual, beautiful cycle of relationship building with another life. Two create, grow, protect and love one. One grows, learns, loves, and eventually, protects the two.