Let That Be Enough

Maybe it's just because I'm listening to new and beautifully crafted music, but I'm sitting in my room, at my desk, wishing I had something inspirational to create. I find myself increasingly jealous of people with natural abilities to sit down and write music, paint, draw, create. I pull up stories I've started, read through them, feel slightly impressed, and then instantly overwhelmed with the thought of tearing through it and finishing. I spend time creating characters, drawing maps, creating basic story plots and even the amazing and brilliant twists of the story, and suddenly find it impossible to continue. I complete a chapter in another potential million dollar book, read it to a friend, find encouragement in their enthusiasm, and then feel almost too scared to write another. I outdo myself with the first attempts and have nowhere to go from there.

The same is true with song writing and drawing. Completion in the arts is not my thing apparently. Frustration, discontent, jealousy of others...these are more familiar feelings between me and artistic expression. I keep thinking that I need to travel, find some inspiration, and then I'll be able to write, draw, create. As if the normal day to day adventures of my life aren't enough to find joy and excitement in. I wouldn't say that my life is uneventful-far from it. There's just something in my mindset that won't allow me to communicate the events in a way that anyone else other than those involved might find interesting, let alone captivating. I start writing fictional accounts of mythical places and end up having nowhere to go, so it would make sense that writing accounts of real life would be much easier. From the heart even. But there is still a block that keeps me from finishing, completing, and ultimately creating.

I hope to find those words...the ones that will allow me to finally feel at peace and content with creating a piece of writing. The ones that I feel satisfied and proud of when put to music.